


A question you should never ask

by Cherrydragon26



Category: What's Up Doc? (1972)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Parody, Post-Movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 12:09:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21301823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrydragon26/pseuds/Cherrydragon26
Summary: Some people say that curiosity is a good thing, and that asking questions helps you better understand the world. However in some cases that is not so.Or how Judy and Howard/Steve make their friends and everyone else question their sanity and life choices. Except those that had already accepted they are crazy, and that they can only become crazier.
Relationships: Judy Maxwell/Howard Bannister
Kudos: 1





	A question you should never ask

**Author's Note:**

> I adore this movie. Wanted to write something for it, and this came out. Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> I don't own the characters or the story, it was just written for fun and giggles.

Gregory was glad when Stephany asked him to come to her party. They knew each other since high school, and their friendship still lasted until their adulthood, with both of them already having families and children. And many people he knew were also on this party, so Gregory wasn't worried about getting bored, because he could speak to someone else except with his wife. Who chatted with some friend she apparently met while doing yoga. That is why he was really surprised when Stephany led him through the room, looking worried about introducing him to some people he never heard of. When Gregory asked how she had met them, he only got a glare in answer. She had a scowl on her face, her hands were trembling and Stephany looked around like she expected something to happen.

"Don't ask them," She said, her words laced with anger, and was that fear? _"Who were these people to entice such feelings,_" he wondered while she suddenly turned to him and stared in silence. "Don't ask them what?" The man asked, quirking his eyebrow up, Stephany scoffing at his reaction. "Don't ask them how we met. Also don't ask them how they came here. Or why. You can ask Howard about his work, but for everyone's sake don't ask Judy about hers. Talking about anyone else except them works too. Try to tell them about your life. Even if you don't want to. Even if they don't want to hear it, just keep them occupied so they don't talk about themselves and what they experienced."

To say Gregory was surprised at this kind of advice would be an understatement. "Are they really that bad? And I mean if you don't want them here just ask them to leave. It is your party after all," he said, now really curious about this couple that clearly made Stephany feel so many emotions. But instead of agreeing and doing just as he said, her face mellowed out and she looked a bit chastised, and even guilty. "I didn't mean it like that. They are not bad people, a person can even find them charming, but there are other things that are not right with them. Or better said other reasons why people sometimes avoid them. For some reason neither of them are really lucky, so many strange things happen around them. And yeah I could ask them to leave, because frankly I haven't invited them, but I would feel pity for them, and...... I don't know I would feel bad! It's not Howard's fault she is a menace in human skin. Or a walking embodiment of karma," she concluded, clearly upset, and Gregory was pretty confused by her rambling. A walking menace, embodiment of karma? What does all that mean?

She sighed and seemed to collect herself, before she continued to walk. "Anyway come with me. You will see for yourself for sure," Stephany said motioning where he should go. Gregory only followed in silence, wondering if any of this will make any sense. Coming over to their table, Stephany pointed at the two married young people, chatting happily with one another (even if the man seemed exasperated with the woman before him). "Here they are. Go over there and talk with them a bit," He nodded his head and raised his leg to step forward, but before he could Stephany clutched his arm and looked at him pleadingly. "And for the love of the all that is almighty! Please, please don't ask them how they met! You won't manage to escape then, and I won't succeed at saving you. If you do end up in that predicament you are on your own. Understand?"

Gregory nodded, his eyes focusing on Stephany for a minute, while trying to decipher what she meant by that. "Ok bye, have fun. And remember what I said. It will save your life," she said, and ran away as quickly as she could, even if she tried to hide her escape with graceful and elegant movement. The man sighed and shrugged his shoulders, walking over to the table and extending his hand in greeting:" Hello, I am Gregory, I know Stephany. She said we should get to know each other."

The woman eyed his hand suspiciously, but the man stood up with a smile on his face and said brightly:" It's nice to meet you. My name is Howard. I will be delighted to talk with you."

+++

And that is how it started. The longer he talked with them, Gregory was becoming aware of something really off about them. How they interact, how they look at each other, how they move. It was just weird. Especially with Judy. The stories she was telling him, were just impossible, and it seemed she was totally serious, and her husband also believed her, like it was completely normal for one girl to set fire to the entire school, but not on purpose. Also she calls him Steve. Even if his name is Howard. 

"Why do you call him Steve?" Gregory asked before thinking, and both of them silenced for a couple of minutes. Then Judy and Howard laughed out loud, probably sharing the inner joke between them concerning that name. "Because he looks like a Steve," Judy answered with a smile and leaned over to kiss Howard, who didn't seem to mind her calling him Steve apparently, even if that was not his name. "I see. Well you can't argue with that logic," Gregory mumbled to himself, and they veered to another topic after that.

+++

His wife soon joined them and the conversation became even livelier after that. However he wasn't sure why, but it became even harder to bear their presence, the longer they talked. "_Maybe this is what Stephany meant when she said I should try to talk about myself more and not ask them questions," _Gregory thought hoping he was wrong in that assessment. Gregory let his wife carry a conversation while he was lost in his thoughts. But before he could go deeper his wife opened her mouth and doomed them all. "Enough talking about us and our romantic meeting. I am really curious. How did you two meet?" She asked before Gregory could stop her, and he looked in horror, as Howard's face brightened and he said happily:" Do I have a story to tell you! Buckle up it is going to be a long one"

"That sure is true darling!" Judy agreed, and he noticed in growing horror that she planned to participate in the story too. _We are never getting out of here now._

+++

After what felt like hours, Judy went to the WC and the story finally stopped. The tired man asked his wife to come with him, so they could talk further from the table. "Why did you have to ask!?" He asked furious, although his wife only snorted in answer, not afraid of him in the least. "I didn't know, you never told me! If I knew I would never subject us to this torture. So it is not only my fault," she said stubbornly, and they fought with each other until they heard a scream. "There is a flood in the toilet!" Some woman shouted, and panic swept through the room. the crowd running to the doors and windows, upset by this sudden news.

"We should go evacuate too," Gregory's wife said, while glaring at him. He only glared back, but then he silently nodded and they were both off, following the attendants and the groups that were forming to the exit.

+++

"So how was your conversation with the troublemakers?" Stephany asked while they were outside, waiting for some information from the workers that were called to fix the problem. "It sure was an interesting meeting. I must say I now understand what you mean. I am still not sure, if it is their fault I feel like a lunatic, or their story really is that crazy that no one would understand it but them." Only a sigh followed his words, and they stood next to each other in silence, waiting for any information from the inside.

"I should have chased them away, shouldn't I have?" 

"Maybe. Maybe you should have. Not really sure that would have helped though"

"True, you are right about that. But I could have at least tried"

"Probably"

"This sure could have gone better"

"Yes, it could have"

"Wish I never met them"

"Yeah, me too. Me too"


End file.
